இது ஒரு அருமையான சுவாமி படம். வேறு எங்கும் கிடைக்காது எங்கும் பார்க்கவும் mudiyathu. ithai அம்மா எப்போதும் தன் கைகளில் வைத்திருப்பார்கள்.
அதி அற்புதமான படம்.
A Yearning Soul ...
Dear Swami,
Give me all the qualities of a good devotee. Please give me Your darshan and give me the experience of the bliss of Your love. Oh Bhagavan, Sai Ma yesterday one of my songs was published in Sanathana Sarathi. With each song that is published, You become bound to me, knot by knot. You are the one who cuts asunder all knots, You are the one who brakes all bondages. But You cannot break away and escape from being bound to me. You cannot cut the bond with me.
Hereafter even if I want, I cannot free You. You are the one who is bound. You are the Lord Damodara but You cannot free yourself with Your maya leelas. Although I have handcuffed You and made You and enslaved You, my mind still wants to enthrone You in my heart and serve at Your lotus feet. What a strange mind!
Oh Lord! What is this leela? I am suffering in pangs of separation and am yearning to see You. Prabhu! Amma! My Swami! My Lord I want to know Your presence every moment. I want You! I do not want anything other than you.
Prabhu! Today early morning 3 am, You gave Your darshan in my dream. You came near me and gave good darshan. I touched Your feet and asked the boon to come to Puttaparthi. Swami, You looked at me and smiled! You laughed! You gave darshan for a long time, but you did not utter a single word! Prabhu everything is Your grace! Purify my mind and bless me to totally surrender at Your feet and to live only with Your support.
Amma! Sai! What is this Amma. For the last one month my mind is very confused. I cannot meditate properly. Every day early in the morning, at midnight, afternoon, evening I am trying so hard at all times to pull my mind towards japa. But the end of all my efforts is only defeat. Now it is early morning 3:30 am. There is only one way before me Amma. Now this moment, this second, I am standing before You with this agitated and turbulent mind and making an agreement with You.
Just four more days, with Your divine grace and my strongest effort, You must give the experience of bliss. You must immerse me in the ocean of bliss. Then this mind will be my slave. After that my mind must listen to my words.
If I fail to make effort, then I am slave to the mind. I will walk on the path that it leads me. If it were to pull me and make me stumble into the ditch waters, I would allow myself to be trapped joyfully. Even if I do not want this, I must follow it. I must follow it because of its force. This is the agreement between me and my mind. “Oh Sai You are the witness. How am I going to be redeemed from this.”
Amma... my Prema Sai, how will I be redeemed? Am I going to follow the mind and fall into the deep pits or will I conquer it and gain freedom? Kanha! What are You going to do? This is a question of my integrity and Yours also! I am asking You in the name of your namas that I have chanted all these years. Show me a way? Guide me! Turn the mind towards You or take my life. I do not want to waste this life following the mind.
The whole village knows the bond between You and I. All know how I worship you from dawn till dusk. At this stage, if You do not protect me you will suffer the curse of murdering me. The whole world will know that You murdered me and they will no longer respect You as God. If I am your true devotee then save me. If you think that my devotion is for show, the world knows that I worshipping You from early morning till late at night. they will blame You! So whichever way you look at it I should be protected.
Oh Bhagavan! Kanha! My life is in Your hands. Sai Amma! Where will I go? I am your child.
-- Letter from Vasantha Sai to Sri Sathya Sai Baba written on 13th December 1981.
